RUNNEMEDE REMEMBERED

Growing up in a small town in Southern New Jersey


Monday, March 17, 2008

My mother and father and me


More from Micki


This isn't really about Runnemede either, but it is in one respect. If I hadn't been born, I wouldn't have known about or been known in Runnemede. So here's the tale.

Because of a SNAFU we had to go back to Micki’s to pick up Alan’s wallet which he left there when we visited two weeks ago. What a great opportunity we had to be with her again.

Once again I “pumped” her for details about the Sbaraglia family. She did tell me something that I never, ever knew. And I imagine I never was privy to the information she gave me because my mom and dad just never talked about pregnancy or “having babies.” Ever after I was married and having my own children my mother wouldn’t talk about such things.

So, I was very surprised when Micki explained to me that when my mother and father were married they never expected to have children. Apparently, my mother was not supposed to be able to have children. And while she loved children and wanted children the doctors told her she was “too small” and would never be able to carry a child to term. The whole family (Sbaraglia/Evangelista) knew this.

And I guess that after my mom started having children (she had four) the original prognosis of no children just slipped ever one’s mind and it was never talked about again.

Being the first “surprise” I was pampered, I have to admit. Imagine my mother’s happiness when she found out she was having a second, then third, then fourth child. My mom did love children. And she was good with them. Some people have a knack with children – my sister does. Some don’t (I don’t). I do know that after my second brother was born (the fourth child) I was old enough to understand the whispering and quiet talk about my mother health being jeopardized if she did have a fifth child. She was no spring chicken when my brother Carl was born. And I’m guessing that between her age and her tough pregnancies, it was time to call a halt to having babies.

I remember after my youngest brother was born that my mother was ill a lot. She had severe nosebleeds and not flashes so bad she would turn beet red and have to sit down or lay down. Still she loved us children and we could tell that all her effort were put into making us – her children – happy. With so many financial limits she still made the four of us feel as if we were the most important thing in her life. And we knew that our father was really the most important person to her. We knew she loved him, and he her.

I thought you might want to know about this.

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