Growing up in a small town in Southern New Jersey

Monday, June 30, 2008


What brings up this topic is that my grandson Adam will be 8 in a couple of days -- at least I think it's 8, I'm really not sure, and I have to take apart the packaging that the toys I bought come in.

First there were just toys -- that's what my parents thankfully had to contend with. There were no bicycle put-together parties the night before, and no puzzling toys with instructions written in a foreign language, mostly Japanese or Chinese, etc. Then there were toys that came in pieces and had to be assembled before they were used (including bicycles) -- that's what Alan and I had to put up with. Did you ever put together a big wheel from instructions written in at least 6 languages, and the English instructions were just three sentences. Now, you knew there was more to it than those three sentences. My word, even a moron could see that the Spanish instructions were three pages long.

Presently, there are toys that you (1) have to assemble that come in a package that you need to disassemble, often with a screw driver and/or hammer. Or if you didn't understand the previous sentence, let me be perfectly clear -- you have to disassemble the package before you can assemble the toy. Not fun, I'll tell you.

And, why, you ask, do they put these toys in such hard to get through packaging? Well, there are two thoughts that run through my mind -- first, they are sadists -- those toy packagers, or second, they are trying to prevent theft of the toys. Well, duh! Just put one of those plastic thingies on the toy like they put on ladies clothing. You ladies know what I'm talking about. That plastic device, that if not removed in the store, you can never, ever wear the article of clothing you purchased because it has that thing attached.

So, what's next in the make the parents and grandparents look stupid department? Who knows? But I'm sure some childless genius will figure something out.

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